HIF 23

This Isn’t What I Wanted

Without further hesitation, I stood in front of Seon Yi-han.

What is this? A Monster? There’s never been anything like this before.

Could it have seeped into the tree? No way. The moment I thought that,

Thwack.

It was instantaneous. I felt an unfamiliar pain. I struggled to swallow the groan that threatened to escape. A thick branch that had pierced through my waist instantly returned to its place.

I struggled to regain my scattered focus and cast magic.

Vines rose from the ground, tightly wrapping around the tree. This should be enough. It wouldn’t be able to move any further.

I felt Seon Yi-han’s presence behind me. Thank goodness. I had blocked it in time, and Seon Yi-han wasn’t hurt.

Thump.

I heard the soft sound of footsteps. Seon Yi-han seemed to be slowly approaching me.

My head was spinning. I couldn’t move a single finger. My vision blurred, and my body trembled. A considerable amount of blood seemed to be flowing from the wound.

“Cough, huff…”

Blood welled up from deep within my body. Bitter blood trickled down my mouth, sticky and thick.

Thump.

Seon Yi-han’s quiet footsteps were getting closer. With a hesitant, slow pace, Seon Yi-han was approaching me.

…No. I couldn’t let him see me like this. He probably already saw it, but it was better if he didn’t see any more.

Seon Yi-han had never been in a battle. He probably had never seen anyone severely injured. So, this moment would surely leave a trauma.

I didn’t want to be Seon Yi-han’s trauma. I didn’t want to be remembered like this.

I had to send him back. Even now.

Tap.

The sound of footsteps stopped right in front of me.

Seon Yi-han’s white Robe fluttered softly before me as I knelt and lowered my head. A pool of red blood spread around Seon Yi-han’s feet as he stood upright.

I struggled to catch my ragged breath and opened my mouth with difficulty.

“Yi-han… Danger… go back.”

I had bound the tree that attacked me, but that didn’t mean this place was safe. With me in this state, I couldn’t protect Seon Yi-han.

Seon Yi-han had a Return Stone now. If he went back with that and brought someone, that would be enough.

But me, until then….

I felt my body temperature dropping. It was a chilling sensation, as if all the blood was draining from my body.

‘I’m not going to die like this, am I?’

…Of course, there was a possibility. No, beyond a possibility, it was almost a certainty. With this level of injury, I wouldn’t be able to return alive.

Still, even if it ended here, it was okay. It wasn’t like I hadn’t considered the end. I had been prepared since I made the Hero’s Oath. Of course, I didn’t expect it to be this sudden.

Thinking about it, it was a relief. It might have been Seon Yi-han in this place instead of me.

Then, Seon Yi-han reached out to me. Slender, warm fingers gently caressed my cheek. Seon Yi-han slowly lifted my head.

Seon Yi-han’s figure was clearly visible in my blurred vision. The setting red sunset was painting Seon Yi-han’s white face. I couldn’t see his expression, but it felt like I could breathe a little easier.

Seon Yi-han was alive, so he would live on. So, it was okay.

Leader, Song Ha-gyun, and Min Joo-hyuk. Unlike me, they were all strong people, so they would be able to shake it off and get back on their feet quickly.

It was a relief. That I was the one in this place.

So Yi-han,

‘Go back.’

I wanted him to go back quickly. I didn’t want it to happen, but Seon Yi-han might be here when my breath stopped.

As I was imagining the worst-case scenario, Seon Yi-han’s hand, which had been slowly wiping my mouth, suddenly stopped.

The blood that had gathered at my mouth flowed slowly down Seon Yi-han’s white hand.

The moment a drop of blood made a circle on the floor,

Whoosh.

A bright cluster of light enveloped me.

It was blue. A clear light, like the dawn breaking, was enveloping my entire body.

The pain was subsiding. The wound seemed to be slowly healing. The shadow of death that had been approaching was being swept away.

No, it wasn’t being swept away, but rather being contained within that light.

But, how? Everything was happening so suddenly. As the crushing pain disappeared, my mind raced. This blue light was definitely,

“…Yi-han?”

My heart seemed to drop. Was it possible to use healing magic with such a severe injury? Could this even be called healing? It was on the level of saving a person’s life?

My fingertips turned cold. I quickly lifted my head. At the same time, the blue light that had been enveloping me abruptly moved away from me.

Whack.

That light violently entered Seon Yi-han. It was almost like it was being slammed into him.

In this place where the sunset was setting red, only Seon Yi-han shone blue for a moment before fading away.

Seon Yi-han’s knees buckled. His white clothes were being stained red with blood. Before collapsing, I thought I saw a faint smile on Seon Yi-han’s face. Even though that couldn’t be possible.

I reached out with a trembling hand. My chest felt tight. I was afraid. The area where the blood was spreading was clearly the place where I had been injured.

It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. Seon Yi-han had never been like this when he used healing magic before. It was as if he had taken my wound as it was….

I urgently grabbed Seon Yi-han’s shoulder. Seon Yi-han, who had been trembling faintly with his head bowed, slowly lifted his head. He looked very strained.

“Yi-han!”

Don’t lose consciousness, don’t let go of your mind, I cried desperately. Tears welled up, and my throat tightened. Seon Yi-han seemed not to hear my words, staring blankly with his gaze somewhere off to the side.

His expression didn’t seem painful, but rather lost in thought.

And then, in an instant, Seon Yi-han’s gaze turned straight to me. My figure was clearly reflected in his blurred, watery eyes.

Seon Yi-han’s trembling lips slowly turned upward. Seon Yi-han was smiling brightly, as if relieved.

Not a smile that hid something inside, not a precarious smile.

A clear, comfortable smile, like a clear sky.

The one I had thought I wanted to see someday.

“…Why?”

The voice burst out of me without my knowing.

Blood flowed from Seon Yi-han’s mouth. The dry shoulder that touched my hand was turning cold.

Even so, Seon Yi-han smiled as if he was very relieved.

The sunset was setting red. Seon Yi-han seemed to be dissolving and melting into it. Only Seon Yi-han’s smiling, blue eyes shone in the swaying sunset.

I…. I didn’t want to see Seon Yi-han’s smile like that, in this situation, like this.

Saving me, taking on my wounds instead. And then, a comfortable expression like that…. I didn’t want to see that.

The unfamiliar pain that had been constricting my breath until just now came to mind. Seon Yi-han must be in so much pain right now. No, it would be even worse than that. He would never have been hurt like this before.

What, what can I do here….

“…Hngh, cough.”

Seon Yi-han opened his mouth with difficulty. Blood poured out of his mouth.

All of it was a thick pain. But Seon Yi-han still smiled brightly, struggling to match his wavering gaze to mine. And then, he slowly spat out each word.

“Leader, …I believe in you.”

My breath caught in my throat. My body stiffened. In my, what?

I couldn’t do anything for you. In front of you, who was collapsing like this, all I could do was hold you tightly, clutch my pounding heart, and cry.

But you, in my what,

“…You too, …me.”

Seon Yi-han continued with difficulty.

Suddenly, I wanted to hear Seon Yi-han say that he wanted to live.

That he didn’t want to die like this. That I still wanted to live. So, save me. I saved you, so you save me too.

I wanted to hear that voice. Then I, no matter what it took….

Amidst the swirling thoughts, I heard Seon Yi-han’s fading voice.

“Believe, …in me,”

The words he spat out as if scattering, “Please believe in me,” pierced my ears chillingly.

After speaking, Seon Yi-han relaxed his expression and closed his eyes as if relieved. The blue eyes that had contained me closed in an instant, as if night had fallen.

The blood turned cold. It was as if reason had returned in an instant.

All the questions that had always confused my mind seemed to disappear in an instant. All the questions about me, about you, and about this world.

I didn’t know what Seon Yi-han wanted me to believe in. Even so, what was certain was that I, whatever it was, had no choice but to believe in Seon Yi-han.

So, I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t lose you like this.

Seon Yi-han collapsed as if leaning on me. The weight that touched me was so light that it seemed to scatter.

My eyes burned hotly. My vision blurred with the tears that flowed down. I clung to Seon Yi-han as if begging.

‘I believe in you, Yi-han.’

Whatever it is, I’ll believe in you. I’ll be sure to tell you that I believe in you.

So, it couldn’t end like this, like this.

I laid Seon Yi-han down and hurriedly tore off his clothes. Could I stop the bleeding from a wound of this size? My fingertips trembled.

What I faced after tearing off the clothes was a clear-colored light particle. It was the one I had seen when I first met Seon Yi-han. A blue light that seemed like Mana but wasn’t.

That light was enveloping the large wound in Seon Yi-han’s waist as if pressing down on it. Blood poured out, and the wound was gradually healing.

Whoosh.

In an instant, the light particle was absorbed into Seon Yi-han and disappeared. A large scar remained on his dry, thin waist where the wound had healed.

I stroked the area with my fingertips. Hot blood soaked my fingers. Beneath it, I felt soft skin and a faint warmth.

I lowered my head and brought it to Seon Yi-han’s face. I heard the sound of him quietly breathing in and out. It was a steady breath.

“…Yi-han.”

The voice that called Seon Yi-han was obscured by the red sun and faded away without hearing any response. My eyes were filled with the burning sunset light.

Seon Yi-han had a pale face and was wrapped as if buried in his blood-stained clothes. I took off my Robe and held Seon Yi-han in my arms as if enveloping him.

Soft warmth gently touched my chest. It was only now that my heart seemed to beat again.

The sun was almost down. Dark night was seeping into the empty sky.

“Let’s go back, together.”

I said as if making a promise, holding Seon Yi-han tightly. And I quietly recited the magic.

In an instant, a strong wind blew. When I opened my eyes, I had arrived at the dorm.

Together with Seon Yi-han.

◇

Clang.

I heard the sound of a glass falling to the floor and shattering into pieces. I saw three people looking at me with shaking eyes.

“Leader… Raen? Seon Yi-han?”

I heard Min Joo-hyuk’s trembling voice.

It was around the time when night had fallen. The sound of hurried footsteps running towards us echoed through the large hall on the first floor.