HIF 22

You Can Get to Know It Slowly

When Seon Yi-han said he would go to the western forest with Raen, Raen thought,

‘He has something to say.’

Seon Yi-han, who turned his head and looked this way, had an expression that looked somehow desperate.

Even so, he was worried about what happened last time. The red blood flowing down Seon Yi-han’s white, slender arm still seemed vivid.

When he stopped the bleeding and looked closely, there were several deep scratches, and he could see that some had already healed and scarred. It looked so painful that it was difficult to touch.

-I wish you wouldn’t say anything.

He remembered the voice that had been carefully delivered. Tears seemed to overflow from his desperate, transparent eyes at any moment. When I nodded without realizing it, Seon Yi-han looked noticeably relieved.

Since that day, he couldn’t take his eyes off Seon Yi-han. Seon Yi-han acted as if nothing had happened. It was the same as usual. Every time he saw that, he felt uneasy, like looking at a cracked glass.

Still, he was glad that he didn’t seem to be cutting his arm anymore. If Seon Yi-han had shown himself doing such a thing even once more, this would not have been a problem for me to watch alone.

Deep wounds and scars filled his pale arm. He would not easily reveal the time he had endured alone.

Nevertheless, he was impressed by Seon Yi-han’s appearance, who was nervous but spoke first. He wanted to stroke his hair.

How much pain would one have to endure to bring out words that had been kept in the heart for a long time, words filled with heavy emotions? I didn’t know all of it.

So he shouldn’t rush him to tell him everything. He had to wait until he spoke first.

He came out of the restaurant and moved to his room. He glanced down at Seon Yi-han, who was matching his pace next to him.

He suddenly had the thought that he wanted to see Seon Yi-han smile brightly someday.

Not a smile that hides something inside, a smile that looks somehow precarious.

He wanted to see a comfortable smile as clear as a clear sky.

◇

He grabbed Seon Yi-han’s hand and chanted the teleportation magic.

As he smelled the refreshing forest scent in the air, he felt his mind calm down.

Seon Yi-han, who was facing him, had a distinctly stiff expression. It was his first time coming out like this, so even if it was not a dangerous place, he would be very nervous. The first time is always like that.

When he told him not to worry because it was okay, Seon Yi-han carefully met his eyes.

His appearance was reflected straight in his blue eyes. In the pouring red sunset, his clear eyes shone brightly. The trembling coming from Seon Yi-han gradually decreased.

“Yes, Raen. I’m okay now.”

Seon Yi-han, who blinked his eyes slowly, soon said in a firm voice. He had a smile that seemed relieved.

He thought that it seemed to contain a resolute will inside. He didn’t know why, though.

A cool breeze blew again. Seon Yi-han’s neat black hair was slightly disheveled.

As they walked slowly along the forest path, the conversation continued leisurely. Seon Yi-han, still with a faint smile, gently told the story that he was very okay.

His heart felt heavy somewhere at that sight.

-Did you want to end your life?

When he asked that, Seon Yi-han shook his head. It was the same when he asked if it was that hard.

What he felt inside was deep resignation.

There was a conviction at the base that nothing would change even if he said it out loud. A conviction close to despair that the weight of anything had to be borne alone.

Still, Yi-han,

‘If you’re not okay, say you’re not okay.’

When he tried to take out the words that lingered in his mouth several times, Seon Yi-han called him. It was a trembling voice.

His usually pale cheeks were a little red, with a troubled smile. Maybe it was because of the setting sun.

He thought he wanted to cover his flushed cheeks with his hands, or so it seemed. Seon Yi-han hesitated and continued to speak.

“I think Raen is misunderstanding something.”

Seon Yi-han uttered words sparsely, as if he himself was not organized. The gist of the words was one thing.

‘The reason he made the wounds was just because he needed them.’

He looked at Seon Yi-han, who continued to make excuses, saying that he just wanted to see the future and that there was no other intention. This was not good.

The reason was not important. Seon Yi-han was thinking something wrong now.

There could be no valid reason to condone hurting oneself. What he was worried about was the very fact that Seon Yi-han had done such a thing.

‘Where should I start talking to Seon Yi-han?’

He couldn’t even get a grasp easily. He shouldn’t refute it head-on. Otherwise, he might not even bring up the story from then on.

He opened his mouth with a heavy heart. He said that he thought he knew a little about what he was thinking. But even so, he hoped he wouldn’t hurt himself.

His stomach was burning even as he continued to speak. The very fact that he had to tell such an obvious story separately weighed heavily on his heart. What kind of time has Seon Yi-han been spending until now?

He lightly stroked Seon Yi-han’s hair. Soft hair was wrapped around his hand.

He didn’t know what Seon Yi-han, who still had a calm expression, was thinking. He didn’t know if he understood well or if he was just nodding.

He knew that it was not easy to change a firmly established thought. Still, he thought that he wanted Seon Yi-han to treat himself more preciously.

Because he would keep waiting by his side.

Until the day Seon Yi-han realizes that he is a precious being. Until he doesn’t hurt himself.

‘I’ll wait, Yi-han.’

Because he would tell him again and again, Seon Yi-han only had to accept it slowly. That he’s not okay.

And after doing that, he would definitely feel much better.

Just like you can treat it once you know where it hurts. Because once you know the wounds of the heart, they can heal.

He grabbed the end of his fluttering white sleeve tightly. Seon Yi-han seemed to be lost in thought, staring blankly ahead.

His expression looked somehow strange. He seemed unable to understand his words, but on the other hand, he seemed to be accepting them.

It was okay. For now, he just had to get to know it slowly like that.

The wind blew gently. Before he knew it, the burning red sun was sitting close. The red light of the sunset poured down.

The fresh scent of the forest permeated the air. It was a scent that made him feel comfortable.

Was Seon Yi-han feeling a little comfortable now too?

He moved his steps while thinking that.

◇

He stopped walking.

He felt a strange energy. This was similar to the feeling when Rifts were open. Surely the magic he had cast did not detect any signs of Monsters.

He had to check. He told Seon Yi-han to wait a moment and moved his steps, but Seon Yi-han followed him closely from behind. He seemed to be trying to be quiet in his own way, but there was no way he wouldn’t know.

“It could be dangerous. Wait a moment.”

Whether he knew his worries or not, Seon Yi-han did not give up on his idea of going with him.

Min Joo-hyuk once said in passing that he couldn’t beat Seon Yi-han’s stubbornness. At that time, he couldn’t understand what kind of stubbornness Seon Yi-han, who only looked soft, had…

Now he really knew. So this is what he was talking about.

No matter what, he couldn’t take Seon Yi-han with him. When he said no firmly, Seon Yi-han closed his mouth tightly. Then he bowed his head deeply.

“Uh… Yi-han?”

Was he perhaps crying? He gently stroked Seon Yi-han’s shoulder. He felt a faint tremor, as if he was sobbing.

Seon Yi-han fiddled with his sleeve in a small way. Then, still with his head bowed, he slowly opened his mouth.

“Raen… Actually, being alone… is scary.”

I want to go with you, Seon Yi-han continued, as if he was sobbing. He also looked somehow desperate. The tips of Seon Yi-han’s ears turned red.

This was foul play. There was no way he could leave him behind when he said it like that.

…No, wait. He never intended to leave him behind in the first place.

He was just going to check quickly and come back. Still, he was afraid of being alone, so it was difficult to say no more.

“I’ll go with you, so calm down.”

Seon Yi-han, who heard his words, slowly raised his head. His eyes were slightly red, but he didn’t seem to have cried. That was a relief.

He patted Seon Yi-han’s shoulder and moved his steps.

And what he faced was a Rift open in the air. He felt cold sweat on his back.

He hurriedly cast magic around the Rift. This was just a temporary measure. He could only close the Rift by finding and dealing with the Monsters that had escaped from here.

When the Rift closes, only the closed traces remain in that place. It looks like a piece of cloth that has been torn once and then roughly sewn together. Still, no more Monsters come out of that place.

So he had to find and tie up the Monsters right now. Because only the chosen Hero, Leader, can deal with the Monsters.

But there was no sign of Monsters around.

“Yi-han. Go back first.”

He had to send Seon Yi-han back first. The situation was serious.

Finding one Rift meant that there were definitely more Rifts around it. He had to block them even temporarily and go.

However, Seon Yi-han said with a firm expression that he would go with him.

Seon Yi-han’s calm words were the same as what he had always thought. That the situation always changes, and that there is nothing that can be certain. So he couldn’t easily continue speaking.

Before his thoughts could continue, he heard Seon Yi-han’s voice.

“Let’s go together, Raen. Then it’s okay.”

Seon Yi-han, who said it lightly, moved his steps. He looked at Seon Yi-han’s back as he walked into the red burning sunset. For some reason, it seemed as if Seon Yi-han would melt and disappear into it at any moment.

He hurried to match his steps next to Seon Yi-han. Seon Yi-han’s white clothes were dyed red with the sunset and fluttered faintly in the wind.

He felt like he wanted to grab the end of that sleeve. He clenched his fist tightly.

◇

There were more than one or two Rifts open.

He told Seon Yi-han, who seemed nervous, to go back several times, but Seon Yi-han shook his head every time.

Unlike him, he wouldn’t understand the principle of the Return Stone, so even if he told him that it worked separately from Mana, it would be difficult to accept.

So he had to keep his wits about him. He had to make sure that Seon Yi-han was not hurt, even if something dangerous happened.

His fingertips turned cold with tension. All his senses felt eerily vivid.

But wait a moment. What is this? At that moment, goosebumps ran down his spine.

A foreign sensation, from behind,

“Yi-han!”

A thick, blackened branch was stretching straight behind Seon Yi-han.