HIF 12

Doing My Best in What I Can Do

I looked up at Min Joo-hyuk with a bewildered expression. It didn’t hurt, but it felt strange. Min Joo-hyuk was still holding and stretching my cheek, and continued speaking with a troubled expression.

“You’re really…”

What about me? Looking at Min Joo-hyuk, it seemed like his mood was fluctuating on his own. I grabbed Min Joo-hyuk’s wrist and pulled his large hand down.

Min Joo-hyuk quietly looked down at my fingers wrapping around his wrist and obediently removed his hand. I didn’t pay any more attention to Min Joo-hyuk and turned my head back to Song Ha-gyun.

“Ha-gyun hyung, thank you. But I’m really okay now.”

“…I’m, thankful. For healing me.”

Song Ha-gyun, who spoke in a quiet voice, placed the medicine bottle on the table next to the bed. Then, he lightly placed his hand on my head.

“Shall we go?”

At the quietly spoken words, Min Joo-hyuk answered energetically.

“Yes, hyungnim! Everyone should be in the dining hall by now.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll be right in front. Come out slowly.”

Song Ha-gyun nodded slightly. The hair he had loosely tied to the side and let down swayed. Even under the bright morning sun, it was still as dark as dawn.

If they’re going down to the first floor, I should get up too. I turned my body and stretched my legs down from the bed, but Song Ha-gyun firmly grabbed my wrist.

“Ha-gyun hyung…? Why?”

“…Want me to carry you?”

It was a flat tone. So, the meaning didn’t immediately register in my head. It took a moment to properly understand. He’s saying he’ll carry me down? Why?

Seeing my expression, Song Ha-gyun gently released the wrist he was holding. Then, he walked towards his own bed on the opposite side. In Song Ha-gyun’s hand was a pair of white slippers.

Song Ha-gyun, kneeling on one knee on the floor, reached out towards my legs. No, wait a minute. I quickly put my legs back on the bed and spoke urgently to Song Ha-gyun.

“No, hyung. I can do it.”

“I know.”

Even though he said he knew, he stubbornly remained seated. There wasn’t even a slight tremor in his eyes looking up at me. He didn’t seem like he was going to get up.

In the end, I carefully stretched my legs towards Song Ha-gyun. Song Ha-gyun gently wrapped his hands around my ankles. The hands that touched me were warm. Maybe it felt that way because my fever had gone down.

Song Ha-gyun slowly pulled my legs towards him and slipped the slippers on one by one. Then, he stood up and reached out his hand to me.

“…Thank you.”

When I took his hand, Song Ha-gyun lightly lifted me up. It didn’t seem like he used much strength, but my body was lifted off the bed as if I was floating.

I felt the warm texture of the slippers beneath my feet. The floor felt soft, like stepping on clouds.

I left the room with Song Ha-gyun. Min Joo-hyuk was leaning right next to the door. Min Joo-hyuk ruffled my hair once and then led the way down the stairs. I slowly moved my steps, following behind him.

My head was a little complicated.

Min Joo-hyuk too, and Song Ha-gyun too… Is this normal? Is it natural to give this much attention to others?

I don’t know. I’ve never had proper interactions at the temple, so there’s no way I would know.

The attention directed towards me wasn’t uncomfortable. But it was so unfamiliar, it felt strange. If it wasn’t natural for people to not care about me, then why have I been like this until now…?

“Seon Yi-han.”

I heard Song Ha-gyun’s voice right next to me. I must have unknowingly stopped walking for a moment. Song Ha-gyun’s eyes looking at me seemed a little sunken. As if he was worried.

I nodded to Song Ha-gyun and smiled. Right, I didn’t have to think about the things at the temple now. It’s already in the past, and it’s a place I’ve left. I was just a little upset, but otherwise, I was fine.

I continued down the stairs. I was almost asleep when I came up here, so I didn’t remember anything, but I was glad I was in my right mind at least when going down.

◇

Bright sunlight was pouring in through the large glass window in the first-floor hall. The blue energy of the early morning had disappeared, and it was already completely bright.

As soon as I opened the door to the dining hall, I smelled a savory and delicious aroma.

It was grandly called a dining hall, but it was just a space where you could cook and a spacious table. It was natural since it was a building where only four people lived in the first place.

Someone seemed to be standing far away, cooking. The sunlight coming in from the large window right next to them illuminated their back.

Lightly scattered golden hair sparkled. It was Park Yul.

Sensing our presence, Park Yul turned around and faced us. Park Yul, who met my gaze, folded his light green eyes and smiled sweetly. It seemed like pieces of yellow sunlight were shining brightly around Park Yul.

“You’re here? Yi-han-ah came down too.”

Behind Park Yul, a wooden spoon floating in the air and various colored sauce containers could be seen. I don’t know why he’s rolling up his sleeves when he’s going to use magic anyway.

Park Yul waved his hand towards the table. Then, three chairs lightly slid back.

“It’s almost done, so sit down for a moment.”

“Park Yul hyungnim. Raen hyungnim hasn’t come yet?”

“Yeah, I guess he hasn’t woken up yet.”

Min Joo-hyuk nodded familiarly, as if it was a frequent occurrence. While I was looking at that, someone suddenly grabbed my shoulder. It was Song Ha-gyun.

“…Seon Yi-han. What are you doing?”

“…Yes?”

“Huh? Yi-han, just sit anywhere. Or are you not feeling well?”

“Ah. No, I’m okay. Thank you.”

There was a seat for me too. I naturally thought it was just for those three.

Song Ha-gyun slowly pushed me to sit down and then sat down right next to me. Min Joo-hyuk, who was sitting across from me, poured water into white glass cups and placed them on the table one by one.

A glass cup was placed in front of me as well. Tea with a light green tint swirled inside. While I was blankly staring at it, Song Ha-gyun gently wrapped his hand around my neck, as if checking my temperature.

“Are you really okay?”

“Yes.”

I gripped the glass cup. The tea water trembled as if my hands were shaking. The surface of the glass cup that touched me was warm.

While I was tightly holding the teacup with both hands, a small bowl floated over and gently landed in front of me. It contained porridge with small pieces of colorful vegetables.

Park Yul soon floated several plates in the air and placed them on the table. On the round plates were appetizing toast and salad.

Park Yul, who came up behind me, slightly swept up my hair. A firm palm touched my forehead.

“Is your body feeling a little better?”

I nodded slightly. Park Yul moved his steps to his seat and continued speaking.

“Still, eating something suddenly might cause problems, so let’s eat something easy to digest for now.”

The moment I heard the warm and gentle voice directed at me, I felt like my heart was choking up.

Suddenly, it really hit me. That I was inside this.

White table, white teacup, neat dishes. It was the same as in the temple, but the warmth that was conveyed was different. That was too unfamiliar. It was overwhelming to keep up.

I wanted to jump up from my seat and run out. This can’t be happening.

Maybe this is just a dream for a moment. When I open my eyes, I’ll be lying alone in the dark temple room again.

“…Why.”

I unknowingly made a sound. I felt the attention focused on me. Even this was unfamiliar. I don’t know what kind of expression I have right now. My vision is blurry, so I can’t even see what kind of expressions everyone else has.

“Why do you, do this much for me?”

My mouth moved on its own. My voice trembled uncontrollably. I felt strange inside. Like I was nauseous.

I didn’t know what kind of answer I was hoping for. It felt like I didn’t want to hear any answer at all. I quickly regained my senses and continued speaking urgently.

“No, it’s nothing. I was just thinking about something else for a moment.”

“Yi-han-ah.”

As soon as I finished speaking, I heard Park Yul’s voice.

“…Please don’t answer.”

I was serious. I didn’t have the confidence to handle any answer.

The people at the temple were endlessly kind to me, who had no Mana. But after I gained Mana, they didn’t even look at me. But, it wasn’t my will that I gained Mana.

What if I change again like that? So, what if the reason why your gazes were directed at me disappears? That would be a little miserable… unfair.

So, I didn’t want to hear anything. If it was something I couldn’t do anything about, it was better not to know.

Park Yul, who was slowly getting up from his seat and approaching me, was captured in my blurry vision.

Park Yul stood next to me. Whether he used magic or not, the chair smoothly turned towards him. Park Yul, who was facing me, gently cupped my cheeks with both hands. Then, he lifted my head up.

“…What could have been so hard.”

It was a quiet voice, like he was talking to himself. I never said I was having a hard time. I was about to say that, but something cold covered my eyes. It felt like a cloth soaked in water.

I felt a drop of water running down my cheek. It must be because of the handkerchief Park Yul covered me with. Park Yul slowly stroked that area with his fingers.

“Yi-han-ah. Do you think you need a reason?”

It was a calm voice.

Is that so? Can kindness without a reason exist? I don’t know. Amidst the confusing thoughts, Min Joo-hyuk’s bright voice was heard as if it was piercing through.

“That’s right, Seon Yi-han. We’re a team now.”

The cloth that had been covering my eyes slowly fell. I opened my eyes. Park Yul’s appearance was clearly captured in my cleared vision. Park Yul was smiling brightly with his light green eyes folded.

“Joo-hyuk is right. So, it’s okay not to think about it so hard.”

The autumn sunlight poured in. The cold air was warmed. Park Yul lightly patted my eyes, as if wiping away the remaining moisture.

Park Yul, who turned the chair back to its original position, walked to his seat and sat down. Next to me, Song Ha-gyun gently stroked my back once.

Song Ha-gyun, who was quietly looking at my face, picked up the glass cup. Then, he brought it to my lips and slowly tilted it. The tea had a light grassy scent.

After drinking a few sips of the warm tea, my confused heart seemed to calm down a little.

“Thank you.”

“…You don’t have to thank me for everything.”

I looked at Song Ha-gyun, who was speaking quietly.

I had that thought for a moment. Maybe I really don’t need a reason.

I don’t know, but I felt like anything was okay. The tension in my body, which I hadn’t realized was there, eased a little.

I took a deep breath. I turned my gaze to the large window across from me. The lush flowers in the garden came into view. The blue sky that stretched high above them was also clear.

It was quiet. So, it was comfortable. It was as if the mud and sand that had turbidly muddied the river had all settled, and my mind was clear.

Right. I really shouldn’t think about it so hard.

‘Status Window.’

A blue window appeared before my eyes.

「The Hero’s party’s only Healer, ‘Seon Yi-han’.」

I saw the letters written clearly at the top. I repeated that sentence once more.

‘The Hero’s party’s only Healer.’

I didn’t need a reason either. No, maybe I already had one just now. Because I realized that there might be a place for me in the world. Maybe closer than I thought. Right here.

I couldn’t be sure of anything yet. But that wasn’t the important thing.

I just thought that I would do my best in what I can do in this place. I had that thought.