HEAL 5

Sang-kyung pondered for a moment. Getting involved in other people’s love lives always leads to trouble. But Yeon-su didn’t seem like the type to hold a grudge. After all, he was consulting someone who was obviously involved with his own boyfriend.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just break up?”

“Someone who knows him so well…”

“Huh?”

Sang-kyung raised his head, doubting his ears. Yeon-su was looking primly toward the kitchen.

“It’s nothing.”

What was that just now? For a moment, he seemed like a different person… Did he get upset because I acted like I knew better and gave unsolicited advice? Even if the guy is a cheating piece of trash, does he still want to protect him because he’s his boyfriend?

Flustered, Sang-kyung moved his arm and almost spilled his water glass. Fortunately, his reflexes kicked in and he caught the stainless steel cup. It rattled and wobbled on the table before settling.

“Assistant manager Kang, you said it was your first time at a place like that. Why did you suddenly decide to go there? You like women, don’t you?”

Once he started, Yeon-su’s words didn’t stop. Did that bastard spill private details too? He only needed to say he didn’t do it, so why mention that he has no experience with men?

“Frankly, it was rude. You have no interest in this side, yet you even ran away… No, of course, if you have no intention of doing it, it’s natural to refuse even if you go there. But Assistant manager Kang, you’re not one of us. For us… there’s a risk of our orientation being exposed. It’s problematic for someone with no real intention to just snoop around such a place out of mere curiosity.”

Yeon-su’s logical words flew like daggers, embedding themselves in Sang-kyung’s mind. The word ‘rude’ fit perfectly. With the flippant curiosity of thinking, ‘So what if I get caught? I’m not gay anyway,’ he had carelessly invaded a space where someone else might have to stake their life. To them, he was undoubtedly just a childish intruder.

Most shocking of all was that Yeon-su had naturally revealed his orientation by saying ‘us.’ Sang-kyung had suspected it and was aware of it, but hearing it directly from his mouth had a tremendous impact.

While he was uncharacteristically hesitating in front of his junior, their ordered pork cutlets arrived. For a while, the two ate in silence.

Still, he had no intention of shaming anyone or spreading this around. After much deliberation, Sang-kyung cautiously opened his mouth.

“…Sorry. But it’s not like I had absolutely no intention. I wasn’t trying to play a joke.”

“Huh?”

“I was a little curious. About what it feels like to be with a man.”

Clang.

The fork fell from Yeon-su’s hand, hitting the plate with a sharp sound. Without even thinking to pick it up, Yeon-su just stared at Sang-kyung with wide eyes.

Even though he’s gay himself, is it that surprising? Sang-kyung felt somewhat awkward. Did he think I was completely one of them? If so, he needed to correct that. He couldn’t deceive him further.

“It’s not that just any man is okay…”

People naturally evaluate others, but whether they voice it or not affects how their character is perceived. How much should he say?

“It was the first time I thought, ‘Even though he’s a man, it might be okay.’ Ah, don’t misunderstand. How could I do anything when you and he are in that kind of relationship?”

All emotion vanished from Yeon-su’s face. The eyes that had held shock moments ago turned cold like glass beads. Even though they were warm-toned brown eyes, they felt inexplicably icy.

Right, ‘Mr. Yeon-su.’ He must be angry that I looked at his boyfriend with strange eyes. Once again, Sang-kyung decided to yield to his junior.

“First of all… I did run away. Even though I had made up my mind, when it came to actually putting it into practice, I realized I couldn’t…”

Yeon-su’s gaze still seemed to hold contempt. Well, come to think of it, even though he doesn’t look it, this guy is the one who went to a gay bar and a motel looking for his cheating boyfriend. His obsession was intense.

It was a bit too much to expose only that side while hiding this side. The man left at the motel probably couldn’t explain why Sang-kyung ran away either.

“That… running away, it wasn’t because I was trying to play with him, but because what I wanted and what he wanted… were the same.”

“Huh?”

Why is this guy, who’s sharp at work, so slow on the uptake here? Sang-kyung sighed and rephrased.

“What I wanted was something a woman couldn’t do, so I got curious. He… also wanted the same side as me.”

Yeon-su should understand by now. For something this embarrassing, it was better to talk about it as if it were nothing.

Actually, it’s not that a woman couldn’t do it. Humans have tools, after all. But saying it this way seemed like Yeon-su would understand immediately. Unless it’s a woman with strange tastes like Ji-yeon from the start, who could do it? Might as well do it alone.

Yeon-su averted his gaze as if turning away. Sang-kyung followed his eyes.

There was no room to delude himself into thinking the other was admiring the outside scenery. Because it was underground, only a dull corridor wall was visible. With only sparse passersby, he knew the conversation was making him uncomfortable.

“Just know that nothing will happen with him. And I won’t go to such places anymore. There wasn’t really anyone who attracted me… and in the end, I was the one who ran away from him first.”

For a week after being dumped by Ji-yeon, he was in a state of angry denial, thinking, ‘I’ll dump him first!’ For three weeks, he observed the people coming and going.

They say men are like suits. In Yeouido, where the proportion of men in suits is quite high, he found only one person who met his discerning eye.

It was the man right in front of him, suppressing his anger. The fact that he could only find one person in three weeks meant his standards for men were strict, not even salvageable by good clothes.

“You said you were interested in Hyung.”

“…Hmm, actually, I almost got kissed, but I refused. I couldn’t do it.”

Sang-kyung’s face grew hot as he shamelessly retorted, feeling like he was confessing that he had no need for anything but a human dildo. Actually, he hadn’t tried putting in anything that looked like a dick, whether organic or inorganic.

For some inexplicable embarrassment, Sang-kyung just fidgeted with his water glass. The time waiting for Yeon-su’s reaction felt unusually long.

“Assistant manager Kang, you really have no eye for people…”

Since he messed with someone who has a boyfriend, there really was no excuse.

Yeon-su resumed his halted meal. He elegantly put the pork cutlet into his mouth as if it were steak. But if it seemed like extra force was being applied to the molars chewing the food, was it just an illusion?

Sang-kyung also picked up his fork. Because of the conversation, the cooled pork cutlet didn’t have the rave-reviewed taste from the blog. So his hand kept reaching for the salad.

“Would you like my salad? I haven’t touched it at all.”

Even though the conversation so far hadn’t been peaceful, Yeon-su was considerate of him. To have almost had an affair with such a kind junior’s boyfriend!

Sang-kyung felt like human scum. That upright and affectionate guy must be giving his all even to a piece of trash like that. Feeling sorry, he wanted to take care of him even more.

“I brought it because they said it was delicious, so it’d be a shame if you didn’t try it. I want Mr. Yeon-su to eat something delicious too. If you only eat pork cutlet, it’ll get greasy, right?”

After saying it, the atmosphere became awkward instead. The conversation, which had become light and crisp like fried pork cutlet coating, regained its weight.

Yeon-su just stared at him with an unreadable gaze, offering no reply. It felt like undercooked meat that couldn’t be cut with a knife was stuck in his throat. He thought he had barely escaped the suffocating conversation and finally started a normal one.

Unable to bear the silence, Sang-kyung finally blurted out whatever came to mind.

“Are you okay, Mr. Yeon-su? I know your secret now.”

“Assistant manager Kang, you’re not the type to go around talking about such things, are you?”

This admirable guy…! Perhaps because he hasn’t faced much of the world’s storms yet, his thinking was flexible. Sang-kyung’s fondness for Yeon-su increased even more because he didn’t hold a grudge over the unsavory incident that almost happened with his boyfriend and properly separated and viewed Sang-kyung himself.

“Of course. I’ll never tell. If anything happens, tell me. I want to say I’ll solve it if possible, but… honestly, I can’t guarantee it, but I can listen.”

Sang-kyung answered seriously, sitting up straight. Yeon-su’s pupils lost focus for a moment.

“Assistant manager Kang, you really don’t make empty promises.”

That seemed like excessive praise. He had acted recklessly just a few days ago… The higher the expectations one has for someone, the more they tend to be disappointed by trivial matters. Because he wanted to get along well with Yeon-su, he hoped he wouldn’t have unnecessary illusions about him.

Yet, unable to completely discard pretense, Sang-kyung put on a friendly-looking smile.

“That’s not it. I ran away from him too… If I had known he was a bottom, I would have refused from the start, but I didn’t know well, so I made a mistake. Can you tell him I’m really sorry about Friday? Was it better for you that I was the one who met him? Since nothing happened, right?”

Clack.

The sound of putting down the fork grated on his nerves. Yeon-su, who had wiped his mouth with a napkin, raised his head. The previously dazed eyes now held a chilling light.

For some reason, he couldn’t look directly into his eyes, so he shifted his gaze to the napkin Yeon-su had used and folded. It was neatly creased like well-organized documents. A voice, as if suppressing something, flowed from Yeon-su’s throat.

“Are you saying that if my Hyung was a top… if he was on top, Assistant manager Kang, you would have gone through with it?”

A chill ran down Sang-kyung’s spine. This sensation… It was familiar. Wasn’t it like this when this guy’s boyfriend looked at him exactly like prey?